Controlling emotions in children
The need to find effective techniques to help children deal with challenging emotions while you’re at home with them has never been greater—or more difficult. When your children or teens display strong emotions such as grief, rage, or worry, here are some recommendations for what to do next.
Acknowledgment
Begin by expressing your understanding of how your kid is now experiencing. Keep in mind that you are validating the emotion rather than the activity. You may acknowledge that your kid is upset, angry, or terrified without acknowledging that they have struck their sister in the process. For example, “I can see how stressed you are right now” or “A lot of people are worried and nervous right now—it makes sense that you are feeling this way” might be effective responses.
Guarantee children that you are there for them
Babies learn to ease their upsets by experiencing the soothing touch of their mothers and fathers. Even older children, however, need a sense of belonging to us in order to be able to manage their emotional states. As soon as we discover that our kid is becoming dysregulated, the most crucial thing we can do is attempt to reconnect with him or her. When children see that we are thrilled with them, they are more likely to comply — and so, most “misbehavior” is eliminated as a result of this pleasant, enjoyable relationship.
No punishment for bad emotions
Spankings, time-outs, punishments, and public humiliation do not provide children with the emotional support they need. The message that youngsters get is really that the feelings that prompted them to “misbehave” are negative. As a result, children attempt to suppress their feelings, and their emotional baggage becomes even more stuffed.
One of the reasons why punishment actually leads to increased disobedience is because those feelings keep coming up out of the emotional knapsack in search of healing, and your kid reacts violently because the emotions are so frightening. Instead of penalizing your kid, encourage him or her to remain on course by providing positive direction, assistance with emotion processing, and scaffolding.
Emotions are normal
Your enraged youngster is not a nasty person but rather a very young human being who is in pain. When kids are unable to manage their emotions, it is because they are unable to do so at that time. You will find that if you remain empathetic, your kid will feel comfortable enough to come forward and share the emotions and worries that are causing him to be angry and behave inappropriately. If you can assist him in crying, those emotions will go — as will the rage and outbursts of frustration.
Is it necessary to educate children on how to express their feelings verbally? Sure. However, do not force your kid to speak about his or her emotions since this will move her out of her heart and into her mind, making it more difficult for her to work through the feelings. Instead, concentrate on understanding and embracing your child’s feelings.
Conclusion
Your children will most likely be better at regulating their emotions than you are, which is good news if you’re still working on “controlling” your own tantrums. Why? You’re putting in the effort now to assist them in learning how!
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